Final Draft

May 3, 2020

​

I thought that I was a good writer, but quickly realized that my writing was very generic and one dimensional.  I was challenged and stretched in ways that made me uncomfortable. As a class we read an article called “Arts of the Contact Zone” by Mary Louise Pratt.    This article was a difficult read and I was distressed at my inability to comprehend what was being said and the depth of the meaning.    For the first time I wondered if college was a good idea.  As we continued to process through the course, I began to see how each piece connected to the next piece and grew us to be deeper thinkers and writers.  As a result, I have decided to revise my film review and my WIX page for the final ePortfolio.

​

My reflection will begin with the revision components I intend to use on my website and film review.  It will also focus how the immersion experience helped me grow as a thinker and writer because research, analysis, experience and W131 strategies each required me to stretch to different, broader levels of my abilities.

​

          My WIX page needed to be polished.

​

My WIX page needed to be polished.  I added more connection from page to page.  I didn’t make it “uniform”, but I did create more connection.  I added images to be more grabbing and descriptive.  I made it more linear, more straight forward and more appealing to the eye.

 

In my pieces I have included hyperlinks, set pieces, artifacts and images.  I added pull out quotes to bring attention to important statements.  These components, I think, will cause the reader to be more engaged.  They also enhance the narrative and give it some power.

​

During my trip to the Oscars I learned to discover, explore and analyze the notion of “behind the scenes” component.  I learned how celebrities attaching their name to something impacts that something, demonstrating their sphere of influence.  When I met the Arnolds, having heard their story, I was impressed that celebrities Gabrielle Union and Dwayne Wade made it possible for them to attend the Oscars.  I then learned that discrimination is occurring because of hair texture and hair styles of African American people.  I learned laws are having to be put in place to safeguard against such injustices.

​

I selected attending the Oscars as my experience, because the opportunity just fell in my lap.  I like watching movies and I love the allure of Hollywood.  I thought the experience would be ultra-cool.  It seemed fitting that this would be my experience.

 

                       I thought the experience

would be ultra-cool.

​

To prepare I did research by googling the Oscars to see who was nominated for awards.  I watched a documentary film.  I read articles online about different celebrities.  I talked to Scott Evans, my son and co-host of Access Daily and Access Hollywood for any scoops he might have.  I participated productively in discussions about writing in class and during peer reviews.  In class we talked about different writing strategies which caused me to look for specific kinds of things I could write about later.  For example, starting with trouble or something powerful.  Fortunately, there were a few things I could choose from in this regard.  This was also challenging, because I would need to be able move forward with the narrative.  This posed the question of what direction to go.  In a peer review with Deriann, I received great feedback.  I took her comments and used them to enhance my story.  Unfortunately, the strong moment she saw had to be edited out to give room for other pieces.  One of the elements she liked, I did keep, was my comparison of the wind to Willow Smith’s hair.

​

In a peer review with Deriann,

I received great feedback.

​

While participating in my experience at the Oscars I took a lot of pictures and videos.  I interviewed the makeup artist who did my make-up.  After the experience, I watched entertainment news shows to recapture the red-carpet moments, who was wearing what, who won what and other things.  I also watched the segment I was able to participate in.  I did more research on the movie Hair Love and its creators.  I wanted to get a feel for why it was important for them to bring De’Andre and his mother Sandy to the event.  Doing this gave me a greater insight to the behind the scenes notion.  

​

As I moved forward in strategically revising my film review, I wanted to create a clear focus and provide sufficient support.   I found the transition style of Jennifer Percy used in her article “My Night With Afghanistan’s Only Female Warlord” was one that I would like to try to incorporate in my work.  Simple transitions like “We moved to the room across the hall” or “The next morning, the general”.  I also liked her simple yet powerful use of words for example, “He grabbed a turkey.  He held its long neck and sawed at the throat.”  Berehulak demonstrates in his article “They Are Slaughtering Us Like Animals” in medias res-opening with trouble when he says, “You hear a murder scene before you see it:  The desperate cries of a new widow.”  In the revision, I did change the introduction to incorporate in medias res.  I did this because I wanted to draw the reader in quickly. 

 

The before and after moments you will see aren’t in the paragraph verbiage.  I didn’t change much of that, rather I rearranged the order of the paragraphs.  For example, using in medias res as the introduction paragraph, which wasn’t in the previous draft, gives a bit of intrigue to the piece.

​

During this writing process, I have learned to reflect on my writing practices to improve them.  I have shaped, and reshaped, revised and edited my writing to hopefully meet the concerns of purpose and to the interests of my audience.

​

At times, it has been a challenging experience.  It has been an exercise in stretching and broadening of my skills and process for writing.  The layering that is part of the writing process is just an expression of life, as it is multi layered too.  I can tell you, I don’t watch movies or read my Essence magazine the same as before, that’s for sure.

 

 

 

​

 

 

 

Draft 1

April 22, 2020

Reflection

I have decided to revise my film review and my WIX page.

​

My reflection will begin with the revision components I intend to use on my website and film review.  It will also focus how the immersion experience helped me grow as a thinker and writer because research, analysis, experience and W131 strategies each required me to stretch to different, broader levels of my abilities.

​

My WIX page needs to be polished.  I would like to add more connection from page to page.  I don’t want to make it “uniform”, but I would like to see it more connected.  I want the images to be more grabbing and descriptive.  I will be working on that.  I also want to make it more linear, more straight forward and more appealing to the eye. 

​

My film review revisions will include hyperlinks, set pieces, artifacts and images.  These components, I think, will cause the reader to be more engaged.  They will also enhance the narrative and give it some power.

​

During my trip to the Oscars I learned to discover, explore and analyze the notion of “behind the scenes” at a major awards show.  I learned how celebrities attaching their name to something impacts that something, demonstrating their sphere of influence.

​

I selected attending the Oscars because the opportunity just fell in my lap.  I like watching movies and I love the allure of Hollywood.  I thought the experience would be ultra-cool.  It seemed fitting that this would be my experience.

​

To prepare I did research by googling the Oscars to see who was nominated for awards.  I watched a documentary film.  I read articles online about different celebrities.  I talked to Scott Evans, my son and co-host of Access Daily and Access Hollywood for any scoops he might have.  In class we talked about different writing strategies which caused me to look for specific kinds of things I could write about later.  For example, starting with trouble, something powerful.  Fortunately, there were a few things I could choose from in this regard.  This was also challenging, because I would need to be able move forward with the narrative.  This posed the question of what direction do I want to go. 

​

While participating in my experience at the Oscars I took a lot of pictures and videos.  I interviewed the makeup artist who did my make-up.  After the experience, I watched entertainment news shows to recapture the red-carpet moments, who was wearing what, who won what etc.…  I also watched the segment I was able to participate in.  I did more research on the movie Hair Love and its creators.  I wanted to get a feel for why it was important for them to bring De’Andre and his mother Sandy to the event.  I participated in peer review with Deriann and received great feedback.  I took her comments and used them to enhance my story.  Unfortunately, the strong moment to her had to be edited out to give room for other pieces.  One of my paragraphs she liked, I did keep.  My comparison of the wind to Willow Smith’s hair.

​

As I move forward in strategically revising my film review...

(I am toying with an introduction change to be more en medias res. 

Berehulak has an excellent example of en medias res-opening with trouble when he says, “You hear a murder scene before you see it:  The desperate cries of a new widow.” 

I will be adding set pieces. There will be some other changes too, I’m just not exactly sure what they will be.)

​

I found that Percy had a transition style that I will likely incorporate as well, like “We moved to the room across the hall” or “The next morning, the general…” I also liked her simple yet powerful use of words for example “He grabbed a turkey.  He held its long neck and sawed at the throat.”

​

 

​

Conclusion to come